Once is Enough
by Rainstar of ShadowClan
Summary: A one-short for the Under the Tree LawlClan event. Two new apprentices venture out into a snow-filled world for the first time, but with serious consequences.


**Dedicated to Illuminating Silver Light for the Under the Tree LawlClan event.  
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**These are the prompts I worked with:**

**1) Two siblings playing in the snow and it goes terribly wrong.**

**2) "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."**

**3) "I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show."**

**I wish you a merry Christmas, and may you enjoy this story!**

A frigid wind blew through the dead forest, reminding its inhabitants that leaf bare had taken over. It rustled the fur of sleeping cats lying in their dens in the ThunderClan camp. One young cat in particular, a sleek silver tom, opened his yellow eyes wide as the breeze faded away. He immediately sprang to his paws and prodded his sister, a small yellow tabby.

"It's nearly dawn, Amberkit! Our apprentice ceremony will be held soon!" the silver tom cried impatiently. Amberkit opened one amber eye hesitantly, digested her brother's words, and then she too was on her paws, wide wake. By then her brother had already woken their mother, who looked identical to her son except for her deep amber eyes.

She purred as she listened to her son pour out his excitement to her. "Here, Hailkit," she interrupted, as he could have blabbered on and on forever. "Let me groom your pelt to a shine so you can look your best." She bent her head and began to lick Hailkit gently, while he continued to express his delight.

"Who do you think will be my mentor? I want whoever I receive to teach me those awe-inspiring moves that Redpaw kept demonstrating to me!" Hailkit announced, addressing the egocentric apprentice who often found time to show off his training to the kits.

"Don't expect too much," his mother warned. When she finished grooming her son, she turned to Amberkit, who had been watching silently from the shadows of the nursery. "Come here, Amberkit, you need to look great in front of your Clanmates as well," she offered. Amberkit moved towards her and allowed her mother to smother her with licks.

"I'm going to be the best apprentice ThunderClan has ever seen!" Hailkit bragged as he sat beside his sister. "And then I'll be the very best warrior that the whole of StarClan has seen! Then the greatest deputy, and before long I'll be the most respected, powerful leader of the forest that will have the other Clans cowering before my intimidating form!"

"That's all very nice, Hailkit," his mother added gently, pausing from her grooming. "But what about your sister here? I'm sure she has a great life ahead of her as well."

Hailkit snorted and started to say something, but Amberkit interjected. "No, it's okay, Hailkit can be the most powerful leader. I don't want a leadership position; I'll just be the loyal and wise warrior at his side."

The silver she-cat finished grooming Amberkit and smiled down at her. "I'm sure you'll be the very best warrior StarClan has ever laid eyes upon."

"Oh, no," Amberkit continued, ignoring her brother who seemed to find their conversation highly amusing. "I don't want to be the best. I'll simply be the faithful warrior who will hunt and fight for her Clan in any situation, the one who will always do her best, and entreat others to do so as well. I'll fight my hardest in every battle, I'll hunt in the boiling heat of new leaf and in the frigid cold of leaf bare when finding prey is almost an impossible task. Yet I'll come back to my Clan with prey anyway and lose myself in their grateful expressions as they accept my hard work, I'll-"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Hailkit interrupted rudely. "While you freeze and bake yourself to death while attempting to scavenge food, I'll be mauling my enemies apart, establishing fear in their cruel hearts."

Amberkit fell silent after her brother's interjection, but the determination that had flared in her eyes as she spoke of her dreams still remained. Just then a call sounded through the camp.

"Let all cats gather below the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" Hailkit caught the flash of tawny fur as Brackenstar bounded up the Highrock. Excitement coursed through him, stronger than before now that the moment was almost upon him. He followed his mother out of the nursery, Amberkit at his heels. They both stood below the Highrock, their pelts gleaming in the sun.

"Hailkit and Amberkit," Brackenstar began, looking down upon them. Hailkit felt a surge of pride at having his name spoken first. "You have both reached the age of six moons and are ready to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you have earned your warrior names, you shall be known as Hailpaw and Amberpaw." Brackenstar paused, scanning the crowd of cats below the Highrock until his gaze rested on a light brown tabby with bright yellow eyes. "Browntail, you are a loyal and courageous warrior. I hope you will delight in passing all this on to Hailpaw." At the mention of her name, Browntail brightened, pride showing in her eyes. She stepped forward and touched noses with Hailpaw, who quivered with excitement.

Next, Brackenstar's gaze fell upon a ginger she-cat with a white muzzle, paws, and tail tip. When she caught her leader's eyes, she smiled and stood up. "Birchleaf," Brackenstar meowed, addressing the she-cat. "You are a wise and loyal warrior. I hope you will pass these qualities on to Amberpaw." Birchleaf padded over to Amberpaw to touch noses with her. Upon contact, Hailpaw snorted as he watched Amberpaw shyly meet her mentor's gaze, who in turn gave her a warm smile. An immediate bond had formed between them.

"Hailpaw, Amberpaw, Hailpaw, Amberpaw!" chanted the Clan as they moved forward to congratulate the two new apprentices.

Hailpaw stood for a moment longer, managing to contain his energy as he accepted the praise, before rushing off to talk with Browntail.

"What am I doing today?" Hailpaw asked her eagerly. Browntail grinned, clearly sharing his excitement.

"I'll give you a tour of the territory at noon," she informed him. "Amberpaw and Birchleaf will be with us." Hailpaw frowned. He hadn't wanted to share his first day of training with his sister. "In the meantime why not you go meet the other apprentices if you haven't already?"

This brightened Hailpaw's spirits. He nodded enthusiastically and bounded towards the apprentice den, a spring in his step. He slipped inside and settled in an empty bed of moss that had no fresh scent. Just then Redpaw entered, casting a long look at Hailpaw, but he hardly noticed.

"Hey, kit," Redpaw greeted casually. It was clear that he wasn't ready to treat Hailpaw as an equal yet. He was slightly hurt by this, but with a simple flick of his tail to display his annoyance, Hailpaw dismissed his feelings.

"Hey," he mewed, returning the greeting. He then looked away, pretending to be interested in a small twig lodged in his moss bed. From the corner of his eye, Hailpaw observed as Redpaw lingered for a moment, and then headed outside. He suddenly felt a rumble in his stomach and eventually he too left the den. Energy returned to him at the thought of eating. Hailpaw began to pad towards the fresh kill pile.

"Don't even think about eating before you've caught some prey for the elders!" a voice sounded from behind. He stopped and whipped around to see Browntail approaching him, an amused glint in her yellow eyes.

"I am dead serious," Browntail continued, glancing up at the rising sun. "There's still some time left until noon, but I know you can wait." With that she gave him a quick lick and padded off towards the warrior den. Hailpaw sighed, once again on his own. He was anxious to start his training. He had lain awake many nights dreaming of the moment that was almost upon him. He caught sight of Amberpaw padding timidly towards the apprentice den. She was cautious, afraid of the unfamiliar territory. Hailpaw snorted in disgust and turned away. He chose a comfortable spot in the camp and lay down, basking in the sunlight. He blinked drowsily until he soon immersed into a light doze, pondering over his dreams and the future ahead of him.

Hailpaw gradually became aware of the sound of approaching paw steps, which forced him to awake. He got up and stretched, feeling excitement flow like a tide of rushing water into his veins when he noticed that the sun was high in the sky. Noon had just arrived. Soon the paw steps subsided, and Browntail stood before him, with Amberpaw and Birchleaf behind her.

"You ready? We're leaving at once," Browntail informed him casually.

"Of course!" Hailpaw cried. He followed them as they headed towards the gorse tunnel.

"So where are we going first?" Hailpaw questioned as soon as they left the camp. Dead grass crunched under their paws, and a cold wind whistled, weaving through the bone structure of trees that had once been covered in green foliage. Now they were bare, a mere skeleton of what they once were until the warm temperatures of new leaf arose once more, reliving the forest of the icy grip of leaf bare.

"The Thunderpath," Browntail responded coolly, though the mere name send shivers down Hailpaw's spine. Fernpelt had told him stories of that dreadful, sticky surface that monsters ran upon, their large black paws tearing up the surface and their loud, savage roaring quite the intimidating sight. Many noble cats were said to have been slain there, run over by the merciless monsters. Hailpaw glanced at Amberpaw to see her eyes were also wide with fear.

"Don't worry," Birchleaf added reassuringly, noticing their reactions. "We won't by crossing. We'll just take a quick peek and then move on." Hailpaw nodded slowly, his fear reducing by the moment. The group was silent after that, content to simply place one paw in front of another repeatedly without a word. Eventually Hailpaw began to hear an occasional roar in the distance. He felt his fur bristle along his spine, but he forced himself to remain calm. At long last Hailpaw broke through a set of undergrowth to see the long, winding path of gray stretching out before his eyes. He heard the faint growling of an approaching monster and winced, drawing back.

"It's all right," Birchleaf mewed from beside him. Her fur lay flat on her shoulders; she seemed unnaturally calm. "The monsters seldom leave the Thunderpath. As long as you remain here, you'll be safe." The monster rushed past as she was speaking, reducing her last few words to a barely audible mumble. Hailpaw felt his fur rustle as it sped by, and couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as it disappeared into the distance. Amberpaw sat nearby, her body quivering in fear; her fur standing on end.

"You'll get used to it," Browntail promised, her voice coming from behind. Hailpaw turned his head to see his mentor stand up. "Let's continue. We've still got a lot to see."

Hailpaw joined her, eager to leave the Thunderpath behind. His fears were almost diminished as they padded back into the safety of the forest, but he could tell Amberpaw hadn't gotten over hers. She kept glancing behind her whenever a faint roar sounded from the direction of the Thunderpath. Hailpaw snickered to himself.

_She's such a timid little mouse brain_, he thought cruelly. Afterwards, they visited the Great Sycamore, now diminished of its former beauty and grace, then the Snake Rocks, and finally they glimpsed the Twolegplace from the Tallpines before heading back to camp. Hailpaw was a bouncing moss ball of energy, while Amberpaw trailed behind. Browntail and Birchleaf were both full of fascinating information, and they never ceased to amaze Hailpaw. As they were doubling back to camp, Browntail demonstrated some hunting techniques and they all headed back to camp with their jaws full of prey. Hailpaw's mind was buzzing pleasantly with all that he had learned. Suddenly he felt a cold drop hit his nose, and at first he automatically assumed it was about to rain. But as more and more mysterious drops of cold fell, Hailpaw saw that it was not rain, as he was used to. It looked more like tiny shapes of white, each one slightly different from the others.

"What is this?" he asked as the strange substance continued to pelt them. Both Browntail and Birchleaf both seemed unconcerned, but he saw that Amberpaw too was entirely confused.

"It's snow, silly," Browntail explained, a glint of humor in her eyes. "Haven't you ever seen it before?"

"No," Hailpaw replied simply, mystified. He stared up at the sky, now welcoming the snow falling upon his pelt. He liked the feel of it. By the time they finally reached the camp, the ground was covered in the white mass. It looked so different from the camp he had left at noon. Hailpaw placed his prey into the fresh kill pile and then soon found himself prancing about the camp, enjoying the feeling of his paws sinking into the soft surface of the gleaming white snow. The snow was still falling, and by the time it had subsided, it reached Hailpaw's shoulders. However, the height of the snow failed dishearten him. He still felt full of energy and now, after having grown tired of the snow in the camp, he decided he would head back out into the territory to experience it again with the added element of snow. As soon as the idea registered in his mind, he firmly set upon it, despite any consequences he might encounter. He started towards the gorse tunnel, maneuvering through the snow painfully slow, when a voice suddenly stopped him in his tracks.

"Where are you going?" He turned around to see Amberpaw gazing at him with a puzzled expression on her face. He dug his paws into the snow impatiently.

"Just to explore," he answered calmly. He began to continue towards the gorse tunnel, hoping he could leave before Amberpaw could ask any more questions, but she hadn't lost interest.

She seemed to hesitate a moment before asking, "Can I come with you?"

Hailpaw blinked slowly. He hadn't planned on her coming, but in that moment he realized he didn't have much of a choice. "Fine, but make sure you keep up with me, okay?"

Amberpaw's eyes dropped to the ground as she mumbled in response a quiet, "I will." Hailpaw nodded and plunged ahead. He navigated through the snow faster than before and soon found himself out of the camp. Amberpaw trudged behind him, already becoming exhausted. Hailpaw couldn't help but feel superior as he watched her struggle, along with a cruel pleasure, so he planned right then to make the exploration especially difficult by setting the Thunderpath as their overall destination.

It took a surprisingly long time to travel with the thick snow pressing against their flanks, and Hailpaw often found himself having to wait for Amberpaw to catch up. Judging from the dull, exhausted look in her eyes, he guessed she was regretting coming along. In the meantime Hailpaw was leaping through the snow with a thrilling swiftness, stirring the soft surface. This made the going for Amberpaw slightly easier, yet she still tired more quickly. But by the time Hailpaw could hear the distant roars of the Thunderpath, he too began to feel his energy escaping. His great leaps became simple hops, and the cold seemed to seep through his pelt and pierce the skin beneath. Behind him, Amberpaw was shivering all over and taking small, timid steps along the path that Hailpaw had carved. Darkness had gradually developed as the sun slipped below the horizon.

"Can we turn back now?" Amberpaw suddenly asked. Her voice sounded dull and cracked.

"We're almost there," Hailpaw reassured her. He too almost wished he could turn back, but when they were so close to his destination, he couldn't force himself to do give up. For a moment, in a darkening world full of glittering white snow, he almost lost his sense of direction, but he clung firmly to the memories of his tour with Browntail and Birchleaf and the sounds of the monsters rushing along the Thunderpath from afar. He found himself wishing for the presence of a warrior to help guide him, but soon he broke through a thin wall of snow and was staring directly at the Thunderpath itself. Amberpaw joined him, still shivering, her yellow pelt smothered with snow. When she saw what lay before her, she shrank back in fear, her ears pointed back, her bristling fur shaking off some of the glistening snow that clung there. A glistening light blue monster sped past, nearly knocking her off her paws.

"W-why did w-we come here?" she stuttered, her eyes racing back and forth, scanning for the signs of another approaching monster. Hailpaw now regretted his selfish decision, but it was too late. Suddenly struck by curiosity, he stepped forward and placed a paw on the unnaturally smooth surface. It felt cool under his pad, but it still couldn't compare to the snow he had been treading through earlier. He felt the sudden desire to try crossing it, despite the fears he still had.

Amberpaw's eyes widened even further when she saw him. "Hailpaw, don't do that," she warned, her worry for him increasing the strength in her voice.

Hailpaw snorted. "Oh, come, you're such a scaredy cat," he teased lightly, taking another step forward. The surface felt rugged and rough on his pads. He was about halfway through, ignoring Amberpaw's constant cries for him to turn back, when he spotted a blinding light flashing in the distance, piercing through the thickening gloom. Through his pricked ears he heard the roar of an approaching monster, its volume rapidly increasing. It was then that his fears from his tour earlier took over, and he began to dart across the Thunderpath, his paws cracking on the uncomfortable surface. He became aware of paw steps behind him.

"Hailpaw!" Amberpaw cried, chasing after him with incredible speed that Hailpaw had never seen her display before. The monster drew closer, its savage roar pounding through his ears as it came frightfully close. He saw the distance he had yet to clear, and it was then that he knew he would not make it in time. He stopped running, staring directly into the blinding lights that were nearly upon him. He braced himself for his end, sending a final prayer to StarClan, when suddenly he was knocked aside. Hailpaw saw stars as he collided with the rugged surface of the Thunderpath painfully. He heard a sickening thud nearby and dreadful screeching as the monster crashed into his sister.

"No, Amberpaw!" he cried out, forcing himself to his paws, but he shrank back as the monster swerved to the side and then raced on, eventually swallowed by the blackness. As soon as it was out of sight, Hailpaw limped towards his sister's mangled body, hardly believing what had just happened. There were long bloody gashes in her side where the monster's paws had raced merciless over her. His face grim, Hailpaw used the last of his strength to drag Amberpaw to the side of the Thunderpath, where he began to lick her wounds, unable to believe that she might not regain consciousness.

"Amberpaw," he whispered in her ear. "Come back to me! I'm sorry for mistreating you. You were a much better cat than I could've ever imagined." As the words began to tumble out, Hailpaw simply couldn't stop them. "All those times I misjudged you, you still believed in me. It should be me lying there, just barely holding on to life. You have a great life ahead of you! StarClan doesn't need you yet!" Hailpaw wailed and placed his muzzle under her fur, where he could still feel a meager warmth. Slightly reassured, he gently thrust his muzzle further, his act laden with grief.

"Please, come back," he repeated softly. How could he let this happen? Crossing the Thunderpath! That was pure foolishness, especially since it was his first time. Suddenly Hailpaw heard the sound of faint breathing coming from his sister. His spirits lifted in hope as Amberpaw opened a single amber eye. It rested upon Hailpaw for a moment, and he could've sworn he saw a slight amusement hidden in its gaze.

"Amberpaw…" Just then both eyes flew open. Amberpaw stared up at him.

"Hailpaw, thank you for being my brother. My _honest _brother," she whispered, her voice cracked and hoarse.

Hailpaw felt emotions well up inside him, and he was unable to respond. They both lay there in the snow, gazing calmly at each other for a few seemingly interminable moments. He gradually became aware of Amberpaw's shallow breathing; each moment she continued to cling to life seemed to pain her greatly. A grievous sigh escaped from Amberpaw and she slowly slid her eyes shut. Believing that her time was over, Hailpaw lowered his head, attempting to stimulate pleasant memories of his sister, but they were all clouded with the selfish comments that he had made both in his mind and, occasionally, aloud.

"I only live once," Amberpaw croaked suddenly, arousing Hailpaw from within his conflicting thoughts. She opened an eye once more just a slit to gaze upon her brother for the last time. Her breathing was ragged and her wounds bled freely. "But I spent that life for the right cause, so once…is…enough." With those final words she gave a terminal shudder, her last attempt to stay alive, to live the life she had always dreamed of, before she closed her eye and stopped breathing. As Hailpaw began to wail openly into the night, unable to let this dreadful moment pass silently, Amberpaw of ThunderClan drifted upwards to join StarClan.


End file.
